FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF

Grace, who is a vice principal/assistant, hands Rooney, the principal, the telephone. Rooney holds the telephone next to his ear while talking to "Mr. Peterson." Rooney picks up a pencil. He fiddles around with the pencil, while talking on the phone. The other phone rings and Grace goes and answers it. It is Ferris Bueller on the phone. Rooney places his feet up on the desk and relaxes. Once they find out its not Ferris Bueller, Grace and Rooney run around, messing with random papers. The computer is on in the background but is not being used at the moment. The phone is old with the spin around dial. The calls on the other lines are indicated by a flashing light. Grace jumps up and down, waving her hands trying to get Rooneys attention when he is saying all of the rude comments to Mr. Peterson. Once Grace finally gets his attention, she tells him that Ferris Buellers on line two. Rooneys face is priceless! He is so embarrassed. Cameron, who is playing Mr. Peterson, is getting a good kick out of doing this to them. Once Ferris shows up at Camerons house, he freaks out at Cameron saying he messed up on the phone call. Cameron says have a good life because Ferris pissed him off. Cameron forgives him and they hit the road for their "day off."

# 8 - food!!

What it be, chicky?
It's rotisserie chicken.
My favorite food.

Hot, steamy goodness.
Groovy gravy sliding down.
Duh, mashed potatoes.

Whipped cream on the top.
Hot or cold? It is your choice.
Greatest desert: pie!

#7 - National ITS KRISTI's BIRTHDAY DAY...

Every year, January 26th is the biggest holiday ever known to man. Do YOU know what January 26th is? OF COARSE YOU DO! It's National ITS KRISTI's BIRTHDAY DAY. All the boys and girls, moms and dads, dudes and gals know about this awesome holiday. What do you do on this holiday one might ask? Well all you really do is sit around, skip school or work, where ever you are during the day time, and fantasize about KRISTI! You get to talk all you want about Kristi. Make sure it's all the good things though, or else you will be cursed for life. People are watching you so pay close attention to that rule! You can eat all you want, while talking about Kristi. You can wear what ever you want, while talking about Kristi. And lastly, you can be with who ever you want, while talking about Kristi. Who wouldn't want to be a part of this holiday? All the kings and queens of all places all over earth love this holiday. They have been celebrating it since January 26th of 1992. Wow, that's a long time! I just want to say that if you participate in this holiday and celebrate it every year correctly, you will have a wonderful life filled with love and joy.

PS. don't forget, ONLY POSITIVE THINGS or it will come back to haunt you! But wait, there really isn't anything negative, BUT STILL... only positive!

#6 - NEW LAW

Someone please tell me the reason for police giving out speeding and parking tickets. Yeah I understand they stop crimes, but why do we need speeding/parking tickets?
I am going to pass a law that police are not allowed to pull us over for speeding or parking incorrectly/in the wrong spot. They shall not be allowed to ticket citizens for these things. Everyone has road rage from time to time, or all the time. Also, everyone has been in a rush before and has found an open area to park, even if it wasn't an "actual" parking spot. I think police find joy in giving tickets out. Why else would they sit along side the road, waiting for someone to go over the speed limit? Then guess what they do? They SPEED after you and give you a high dollar ticket. WHO NEEDS THIS IN SOCIETY? No one wants to give their money out for speeding or parking in the wrong spot because some police had nothing better to do! Why don't they waste their time eating doughnuts instead? Or how about stopping all the crime in the world? What a concept.
I cannot stand police and their egos. They drive around like they are king of the world. It bugs me and im sure it bugs a majority of people! With this law, people can drive their own speed and park where ever they want to! How does that sound to you? Sounds GREAT to me! =]

#5 - What the heck is that!

They call it the star-nosed mole; This creature is the ugliest thing I have ever seen in my life. If you came face to face with this nasty thing, you would be scared shittless! You may wonder why this creature is called the "star-nosed mole." They call it that because its' nose looks like a star, only with more points. Their nose almost looks like a sea anemone with many long, flexible feelers.

Their bodies look like a fat, 3-D blob. This blob is filled with black fur, which is quite soft. They have four legs, which are attached to enormous paws. Connected to these paws, are the longest nails, which reach out long past two inches. Gross!

This little blob is the slowest animal thing ever. Shocking, but it's slower than molasses. Look on the bright side though. This animal is the most coordinated and organized creature yet. If your kitchen needs vacuuming, this little creature will have it all cleaned up by the time you get home at night. How great would that be to have a little mole living in your house, eating anything that doesn't belong? Only downfall of this creature is it may eat things you don't want it to. For example: bills, important papers, etc. So I recommend not leaving these types of things on the floor. The moles won't eat carpet, cords, rugs, furniture, or anything like that. These animals cannot jump or climb, so you won't have to worry about anything on your counter tops!

Star-nosed moles originally live in the jungle, but these ugly creatures are becoming popular as pets. You can now purchase a star-nosed mole at your local pet store. Interested? Go check them out today and see what I'm talking about!

#4 - imagine the impossible

Have you ever wanted to own something others think is impossble? NOW ITS POSSIBLE!
You can now buy a robot that will do anything you want it to! Who wouldn't want one of those? This product is not actually real, but it is a robotic pet that looks like a real pet. This product is called "The do it for you pet!" Your pet will learn to love you and adapt to the way you live. The do it for you pet comes in 4 different animals. The fuzzy puppy, cuddly kitten, the giggly monkey, and finally, wobbly penguin. You can buy this product for only $19.99. This offer won't last long, so call now before its sold out. Our product would be a great holiday gift for friends and family! Call this number if you are interested in buying the do it for you pet!
1-800-771-5551
ORDER TODAY!

Fuzzy Puppies

Cuddly Kittens

Giggly Monkeys

Wobbly Penguin

#3 oh so pretty

The characters were as happy as a kid in a candy store. Daffy Duck welcomed everyone to Disney World by his charming attitude. Mickey smiled as big as the sun after it comes out in the morning. Minnie stayed by Mickeys side like a soldier at war. Minnie has ears the size of an elephants. That didn't matter though because Mickey still loved Minnie. Goofy was as crazy as a monkey at the zoo. Goofy giggled like the Gerber Baby. He could never stop. Pluto was Goofys best friend and vice versa. They both loved each other with a passion. Alvin and the Chipmonks voice was as high as a boy that hasn't gone through puberty. Shame on them!
The sky in the distance stood out like a sore thumb. It was as blue as the ocean water. The sound of Walt Disney World was loud with rides going wild. People were chatting up a storm which also added to the sound of the park. Hot, fried food blew through the air like a baloon taking off into the sky. The feeling of Walt Disney World raced through ones veins like the speed of lighting!

# 2 what's the difference? it's lipstick...

Wow! This John McCainwebsite is great. All they have is good things to write about me. This website also sells shirts with my name on it. How cool is that! Many people commented on my latest TV ad; "Enough is Enough." Some people had some very meaningful things to say about the ad. The others who commented on it, they had some negative words about my ad. One thing that I read on this website that someone wrote was hilarious! It went something like this: "I’m not so sure Barack Obama is still way more popular than Paris Hilton! Either way, he is NOT ready to lead." I got a kick out of that. Also, I found another comment by the same writer. This time it was a joke. "What do the hula hoop, disco music, and Obama-mania have in common? They are all fads that Americans grew tired of." Well, isn't that the truth. One thing that makes me mad though is the fact that people are ripping on President Bush. No matter who is in office and no matter what decisions are made, someone is ALWAYS going to be ripping on them. No one can ever seem to make people happy. I believe President Bush is doing a great job. If we weren't in Iraq fighting, the Iraqis would be over here in our land fighting us HERE! I guess people just don't understand that. Oh well. Overall, I love this website about me. There's just so many positive things being said about me, meaning I am going to win the presidential election for 2008! ROCK ON!

#1 haha.....wait, what?

Oh, isn't she pretty? With her nose so giant and mouth so wide, looking like she was about to sneeze. How would we know? Its only a picture right? She looks like a complete weirdo. Oh goodness, her eyes like golf balls, so big and round. She looks like a teacher that would know just about everything and anything. Don't think its true though. She could be an adult that knows absolutely nothing. She almost looks confused. Or maybe she's a computer nerd who sits on the computer all day and does nothing else. All I can say is, she's beautiful... Right? =]

Perfectly cut into a delicious looking Sea Horse. Creativity and passion in every curve. Bright greens with a textured look. Serving this would make customers happy and asking for more. Juicy red watermelon dripping from the mouths of those eating it. Designed to make people look at this watermelon and say, "Wow! Now that is a pretty looking watermelon. Where can i get one?" Cutting this watermelon must have taken time and talent. Maybe some day someone could teach me how to create such a beautiful piece.